Maximising the Benefits of Your Counselling Sessions

Counselling can bring so many benefits to you.  It helps you understand yourself better, to know what you want for yourself, and to find ways to develop the resources you have, to feel more confident and comfortable with yourself. 

That’s the overall purpose of counselling - to help you to help yourself. Counsellors are skilled to provide you with a supportive and non-judgemental environment so that you have the best opportunity to do this.  Just like it is easier to maintain the outside of the house when the weather is mild, it is easier to work through problems and find solutions when you are being supported to do so.

Being in a comfortable physical environment will help too.  Here are some guidelines to help you to get the most from your sessions: 

1. Be in a private space.  You want to know that you can speak freely without others overhearing you.
2. Be in a space with no distractions.  You are here to focus entirely on you.  Children or pets in the room will be distracting to you.
3. Be free from interruptions.  This is your precious time.  Do your best to keep this time entirely for you, so you are not expecting deliveries or people popping round during your session.
4. You will feel most comfortable if you can see and hear your counsellor clearly.  Although you could use your phone for sessions, a device with a much larger screen will feel so much better.
5. It will also help you if your counsellor can see you clearly, so experiment beforehand with different lighting – it is usually best to have a window or light source in front of you rather than behind you.
6. Communication is so important in counselling.  Do your best to have good internet connection, good audio and video, and sufficient battery for the whole session.
7. Settle yourself comfortably for the session.  A good supportive chair is ideal.  

It’s important that you take care of yourself:

1. Your counsellor will offer you a high level of confidentiality.  This will be your responsibility too.  In sessions, you might want to share memories, thoughts, and feelings that you haven’t told others.  If you think other people in your environment can overhear or will try to interrupt you, find another space.
2. Always tell your counsellor if someone else is in the room or comes into the room so you can agree together what to do.
3. Online counselling is not always advisable if you are at any risk of coercive, challenging, or abusive behaviour from others.  This is not just because conversations can be overheard, but because devices can be used by perpetrators to track or control a person.  Learn more about this by visiting  Controlling or Coercive Behaviour in an Intimate or Family Relationship | The Crown Prosecution Service.  If you do feel you are at risk, visit a website such as Women's Aid for support and guidance.
4. Counselling works best in the here-and-now.  Your counsellor will not record your sessions, and neither should you. 

Aim for consistency:

1. Counselling works best when sessions are regular.  A week apart is often the ideal.
2. Your counsellor will talk to you about number of sessions they recommend.  This depends on your reason for seeking counselling and the therapeutic approach your counsellor takes.
3. What you gain from counselling depends on your ability to embrace the work.  Your commitment to the process will make a big difference to your success.
4. Counsellors work in different ways, but usually the work is contained within the sessions, with little or no contact with you between sessions (except for practical arrangements).  

Be honest and open with your counsellor:

Many people really like counselling because you, the client,  is in control.  You work on what you want to, at a pace right for you.  Your counsellor works only with the information you provide to them. They do not have access to your medical records, and they won’t be speaking with your family, partner, doctor or anyone else.  Only if there is significant risk does a counsellor need to breach full confidentiality and this will be fully explained to you before you go ahead. 

Because of this unique relationship you have with your counsellor, for your own benefit it is important that you: 

1. Let your counsellor know if you have been diagnosed with any condition
2. Let your counsellor know if you are prescribed any psychoactive medication
3. Let your counsellor know anything which is relevant to the work you are doing together

I hope this has answered some of the initial questions you might have about counselling, but always feel free to discuss anything you want to know in the initial free chat you are offered at the start of the process, or with your chosen counsellor during any session.